Your wedding day is a huge moment in your life and a certain degree of anxiety is expected. Many people have doubts as the big day approaches. But how much is too much? And is it a sign that you shouldn’t go ahead?
How does it manifest?
People experience anxiety in different ways. For some, it is just a mild fear of something going wrong. For others, it can be a full-blown panic attack.
If it is of the milder variety, it may help for you to think of it as “excitement” and welcome it rather than trying to not experience it.
If it is a panic attack, try and focus on your body. Feel how your toes are. What does the texture of your chair feel like to your hands? When you calm a little, start a slow breathing routine and see if that helps.
Are you tired and stressed? Try and take some down time to just do something alone that you enjoy. Do some meditation. Get to bed early and get plenty of sleep. It is amazing how just simple routines like this can really help.
What if you can’t get it to calm down?
Some people find journaling can help. Sit in a quiet place and just write down whatever comes into your mind. Keep going for at least ten minutes and see what emerges on the page.
What is the worst case scenario? What are you having doubts about? Is there a reason for your doubts arising at this time?
Is your anxiety about the event itself or about the person you are marrying?
Write a list of the reasons why you do want to marry this person. What was it about them that drew you to them in the first place?
Are you afraid of the commitment involved? What about it scares you? Can you imagine that over time you will come to love this person even more? Does asking yourself these honest questions help the pre-wedding anxiety to settle down?
Talk to someone
You could try talking to someone in your family or friend circle that you know you can be honest with. Someone who won’t panic themselves and tell everyone.
Or you could arrange to have some pre-marital counseling either by yourself or with your spouse-to-be. Or arrange for at least one intensive session with us. It is better to do this now than face all this on the day of the wedding.